July 15, 2018 | Pennsylvania Counseling Services, Inc.
Anger is one of our most misunderstood and frightening emotions. Frequently confused by others and confusing to ourselves, it can be destructive unless expressed in a healthy way. However, when anger is understood and communicated clearly, it can strengthen and deepen relationships.
Anger is a surface emotion. It signals deeper problems or issues. To understand our anger, we need to be open and honest about our feelings so we can uncover the deeper sources of our emotions.
Diagrammed, anger and its underlying causes look like an iceberg, and anger is only the tip of the issues involved.
Naturally, people often deal with anger in one of two unhelpful ways:
In most cases, the best way to deal with anger is to learn to express feelings in a non-offensive way. It’s important to understand the nature and source of our anger so we can process and control our feelings before we hurt others with angry outbursts, decisions or withdrawl.
It’s important to remember that everyone feels angry at times. Anger is a normal and healthy emotion. It’s a part of being alive. But it’s also important to learn to use anger to clarify our feelings toward others and to help build deeper, long-lasting relationships. Only then can anger become a constructive force for achieving happy, peaceful and fulfilling lives.